I am sleeping much better – getting my 7 hours and 1 hour afternoon nap almost daily. Though there are times where I experience difficulty falling asleep still – the intensity is much tolerable. I have also been taking care of my diets making sure I am having sufficient nutrients to waste off my endless frail look. Remembering my daily dose of vitamins C, E, B, iron, and ginseng; Of course my health is improving! How can it not be?
Life is good
Thank God. He has provided me with all that I need and even more. Spend my days downloading countless sermons, and spending time reading and reading books I bought during the weekends. I am feeling so free – I mean freedom. I feel so comfortable by myself that I am not motivated to get out of the house at times. From history I know this will not last, I will start feeling restless and create some trouble and drama in life to fill my mind with.
Almost a daily late night call from UK was something to look forward to at times. We had fun, teasing, being teased, poking and talking to each other. I like the word ‘dear’ when is used it make me feel loved and adored. Half the globe away we still manage to go through the ritual of having some bites of arguments. And I thank God at the end of the day that is over and settled, back to laughing, smiling and being sweet.
I received an offer from APSN and currently putting it on hold in hope that IMH will accept me into their culture. Waiting needs patience, and a person like me doesn’t have much of it. It was excruciating knowing that I need to wait another 2 weeks for IMH to get back, which that was after I had waited 1.5 weeks for the interview to come. Yes indeed was killing me inside, dying to know my destiny. That’s why I spend my day surrendering in prayers, or rather distracting myself with it. Nope prayers were always sincere it wasn’t a way of distraction nor escape but a release talking to a long faithful friend above. Nonetheless I constantly distract (also soaked and enjoying) myself with readings and readings, news magazines to get updated about the latest news and politics – which I manage to understand half of it – Bravo! as this is better than nothing.
Currently corresponding with Dr Mond , a experienced researcher who has kindly showed his interest in my thesis and discussing about publications. That means work, extra work, reliving the days of writing my thesis… Not very excited about that idea, but to have my name and work printed in one of the journals is certainly tempting and perhaps worth the extra mile – can imagine my lecturer slapping my face yelling of course is a Good very good opportunity.
I have also prompted my ASD kids’ parents that I will be stopping my service after securing a FT job. One parent seems very affected. Actually both. Both mums seem to be entering the gates of depression. So heavy hearted that I avoid bumping to them – I didn’t want to breath in the negative wind. There is always a silent celebration in me whenever I don’t see the mums at home. Not very professional huh? Yeap, everyone is entitled to secrets of unprofessionalism. Don’t you?
Wrapping up my ABA sessions maybe a difficult issue for me; leaving the kid just ladat? Because of my plans to leave, the parents have to crack their heads and get depressed over new plans. I feel bad, on the otherhand I can’t wait to run. Seeing my kid going through biomedical treatment and all the arising behavior issues.. I am starting to lose my confidence – well what the heck I am not an expert and I am only human. I have ritually reminded myself of my abilities and that I am not to blame when they throw tantrums and scream out loud in front of me. I am not to blame, is the biomedical treatment.
I am being patient and still maintaining my cool composure very well, while waiting for coming plans to be more concrete.
I love my life now. And btw I am not working tml : P